The Fairest Season

In the summer months we became bees
That fluttered and buzzed around
All the pretty women like flowers

If time had existed, it tocked forgotten,
So that we knew not when to lie down or get up
And the children had no one to tell them stories,
So they wrote their own

We strained our necks above the treetops,
Letting our lungs beat like butterfly wings,
A thick-rhythmed therapy in the thickets of our minds

Young men in the same old sins
Which had ensared our fathers
And turned their bones to fire,
Scorching ourselves from the inside

Our scrawny knees buckled and snapped
Bending like wood as we ran from the reality
We had stick and timbered from a long forgotten dream.

Oh Darkling, you and I could never be-
When the summer passed so had our lives
Quickened and been tricked-
Tricked into believing we were immortal

Thistled Spring

You came
crunching on the pebbled path
with a suitcase full of photos -
old men have the greatest stories -
quietly you stepped inside to rest
your aching soles, as if no time had passed;
not even a second since we saw you last.

Seventeen years,
like a pipe slowly burning.
Your face embroidered with stitches
of a different life: pieced and patchworked
from the sky and years of scotch-whisky;
sewn from the scraps of a houndstoothed history.
You met a priest and a politician, neither had sympathy.

After dinner
you settled into a familiarly silhouetted shape
and showed us photos of you searching
for that which had been lost by man:
a language loved by whores and captives:
words that saved your life;
crunching pebbles, your gospel never said goodbye.

Blood

older brother, restless soul, lie down
lie for a while with your ear against the earth
and you’ll hear your sister sleep talking
say “your hair is long but not long enough to reach
home to me
but your beard
someday might be”

and she’ll wake up in a cold sweat on the floor
next to a family portrait drawn when you were four
and beside a jar of two cent coins that are no good no more
she’ll lay it aside

it was the only woman you ever loved
that got burnt by the sun too often when she was young
and the cancer spread and it ran into her body and her blood
and there’s nothing you can do about it now

this worn thing

Spoon – Transference

I can’t claim I’ve been a huge Spoon fan for long, but this album has blown my mind. Seriously one of the most creative albums, in terms of production, that I have heard. It’s about as raw as indie rock gets, but grooves like none other. They make playing sloppy sound cool. Track of choice: Mystery Zone.

Jonsi – Go

This has been a long-awaited release for my roommates and me. I love Sigur Ros, and from the moment I heard the single, Boy Lilikoi, I was expecting huge things. That track is absolutely cinematic. It sweeps and surges in brightness and excitement. But the entire album is a masterwork of art, meaning it pays little attention to being radio friendly or adhering to structures, and is solely a pure expression of its creator. From a production standpoint, it too is absurdly creative. I suggest you go to Jonsi’s website and watch the videos of the production process. I can’t explain it, you just have to see for yourself. The live show is supposed to be completely revolutionary as well. The record’s producer also produced another recent favorite of mine, Fanfarlo’s Resorvoir. The only thing I wish the album did differently is feature a little less of Jonsi’s falsetto. His regular singing voice, heard mostly on the track’s closer, Hengilas, is beautiful.

Robbie Seay Band – Miracle

There are few worship leaders in the Christian music industry who do justice to creativity like Robbie Seay. He writes powerful and catchy tunes, and sonically speaking, his last few records have been really impressive. Great band, great tones. Without a doubt, my favorite song on the record is Let Our Faith Be Not Alone. I love the line “Oh God, we have a history.” A beautiful and moving song. The live version is every bit as good as the studio version, so I’m happy he included it in the deluxe version. Also, they cover one of Jon Foreman’s best songs, Your Love is Strong. They really do it justice, too. Check out this record.

Civil Twilight – Civil Twilight

Their song Letters from the Sky is an amazing track, both lyrically and musically. Very emotive. These South Africans manage to have a huge sound, which is not an easy task for a three-piece. The record has a rawness that preserves their band dynamic, but covers a wide spectrum of musical styles, which I find impressive. My second favorite song is the album’s closer, Quiet in This Town, which was written about the death of the lead singer’s grandmother. I suggest those two tracks, and if you like them, get the whole album.

Letter Poem

In the beginning it was I
and only I,
until in kindness infinite, I
thought of you.
Can you not perceive your insides
intertwined, operating with precision,
assembled from dust and ash and clay and breath?
It was I
who clutched your sullied fingers, stained
by earth and dirt, trials and tears,
pulling you near as you
gravitated towards gnashing teeth.
It was I
who rubbed your wrists with tenderness
after shackles had deformed them,
calloused and cerise.
Can you not see
the choking numbers,
from light years to parsecs,
from ten to the number so
staggering, you are smothered
like a child under the mattress in the night?
Do not pretend
to be so strong or
so wise or
so tall that,
with the next step in place,
you will be launched to the stars.
For I am,
and for this short while
I will let you be.

My Mom Told Me To Reach for the Stars

I told her the Challenger tried and didn’t make it very far.
Not to mention Alpha Centauri is 13000 AU away.

Instead I shot for the corner of Lexington and Hart,
Sitting at Harry’s drinking Miller’s on Mondays
Watching the Jaguars.

Maybe I should have aimed
For the stars, somewhere
Out in the Andromeda Galaxy
Dodging starbursts and bloated Mars
Landing in the heavens, two clicks East of the
Right hand of God.

In that moment, looking down
Past the Ozonosphere and the Cumulus clouds,
I would scream out
Look at me now!
Someone, look at me now.

Instead I drive the John Deere from
Denton to Lake Charles,
Hoping there’s Copenhagen,
Somewhere,
Left in the car.

the holidays

watch out, you wouldn’t know it
the streets are slick with ice
blue ice, the jazzy-night ice

and you might bring along a
scarf, preferably wool
wind will burn your cheeks and nose

don’t forget to take your gloves,
your fingers: warm lovers
sending notes to yours truly

I made a list of things to
pack, you will need each one
a fresh pair of underwear

call me when your foot steps in
the door, or I will fret
you might have slipped on the ice

once at home he de-layers
the coat hung on the chair
one shoe here, one over there

the lights are off except for
the fridge/television
blue lights, the jazzy-blue lights

phone freed, taken off the hook
area code twelve six
an immediate answer

did you make it safely home
I heard of bad weather
no everything was fine

I am glad you came home for
the holidays, merry
Christmas and happy new year

A Sigh, A Relief

Sliding just a foot over the edge, I tempted death
one toe at a time – a body
broken by the waves’ reflection.
A girl on the shoreline pulled notes suspended on strings
traveling along their pulley-trapeze
The water in the Peach Blossom pool is a thousand feet deep.
But I laughed, thinking of
the depth of love and of infinity.

Just selling off some of the gear I have amassed over the years and don’t use very often. Prices were determined by eBay’s completed listings (factoring in cases, etc.) and seem pretty low (I don’t even want to say what price I bought this stuff for), so it looks like now is the time to buy. We’ll start with the big stuff and work our way down. Feel free to email me with questions at philipedsel@gmail.com.

2001/2002 Limited Edition Handwired Vox AC30 – $2,600

This one is a bit legendary, and hard to come by. Vox commissioned 250 of these to be built by famed amp-maker Tony Bruno in the early 2000s. This one is number 4. Great condition, comes with Road Case. It has been into Austin Vintage Guitars for new tubes and checkups a couple of times.

Hard to see, but a small scuff in the tolex is the only blemish.

Taylor 814ce – $1,900

This is my beloved Taylor, which I have written a bunch of songs on. Higher end model, with (I think) sitka spuce top and Indian rosewood back and sides. Beautiful inlays and ebony tuners (box of extra tuners included). I’m selling to get a different and darker sounding acoustic. This one has the bright and shiny tone that Taylor is known for. I’ve take it to the certified Taylor repair guy in San Antonio twice for checkups and setup.

Small scuff in the finish, but not the wood. Barely visible.

Front, scuff not visible.

OHSC

2005 (?) Martin DCX1E – $475

Got this guitar in high school as well and it sounds great. Really solid, tough, and fun to play guitar. Comes with a HSC (covered in stickers, of course.)

Pedals

From top to bottom:

Line6 DL4 ($150)- One of the most commonly used delay pedals out there. 3 presets, tap tempo, and looper.

Xotic Effects AC Boost ($120) – Great transparent boost pedal with classic rock type gain and EQ

BBE Crusher ($50) – Fun distortion with a nice EQ.

Route 66 Overdrive/Compression ($90) – Older version of one of the best overdrives on the market.

Lovepedal BabyFace Tremolo ($100) – Really cool trem pedal that takes up almost no space. Has 3 square shape switch and adjustable depth and volume knobs inside.

DMB Stellar Overdrive ($90) – Don’t know much about this boutique OD, won it in a contest. OD sounds great though. Apparently DMB is becoming pretty popular.

Observer of the In-Between

we flew through dirty air,
the tips of our fingers felt
the craters of the moon.
the cities below, shining
like the brightest galaxies
the heavens had ever seen,
the stars above and the stars beneath
sang, and sweetly I might add,
to the observer of the in-between.

The serpentine stars and the lionous sky
seemed as real as ever, as forever as
the astronomers had said they were.
This atmospheric sea, and its aperatures
of blackened gold rocked quietly, unconcerned with me-
one in a thousand foreigners, as quick to vanish as I had arrived.
But to see Space travelling in our sky,
in our world just stopping by,
made me tremble to realize I was too high
and felt intrusive.

My neck bent to see the lights multiply
and I half desired to pass this life, knowing
death would be the closest I’d get to knowing
the true nature of the firmament,
the vaulted cielings which were heaven bent.
And I wondered if the stars would look,
when looked down on from heaven,
like the constellations of cities below.

I love Vox tones, but Vox amps can be hit or miss. I finally ended up with Divided By 13′s RSA 31, Fred’s take on the Vox. This thing is killer! Probably the most dynamic EQ on an amp I’ve ever head. Very dynamic and versatile. The overdrive is killer too, but the clean chime is everything I’ve ever wanted in a Vox, without sacrificing any low end tone. I like having the head/cab setup because it’s easier to carry around (as opposed to a 100 lb. Vox in a road case). It is also great for playing big rooms because it sounds massive.

So once I had a higher-wattage amp, I needed something almost the opposite to serve other purposes. A lower-wattage, lighter amp is awesome for grab-and-go gigs, as well as smaller rooms. I chose the Fender Princeton Reverb RI because not only does is does it provide an American tone to my RSA’s British tone, its clean tone and reverb sound insane. That being said, the Princeton comes with a 10″ speaker, which has been guitarists historic complaint with the amp. The bass can sound flubby at high volumes. The OD is a little brittle too. Mine came with a 10″ Scumback, which I am sure is better than the stock speaker, but it could only do so much. After doing a little custom work on the inside of the cab, I installed a 12″ Celestion Blue into the amp. Kind of a weird combo (Vox speaker with Fender Amp?), but sounds awesome! Fender cleans and chimes, as well as rich tube overdrive. And the amps pair really well running in stereo. It is good to have two amps that I love and that don’t step on each others toes, sonically or for utility purposes.

That is my amp setup. It has been a long time coming to be really satisfied, but I am there for now. Who knows though, guitarists change their gear all the time right?

“…then there shone in the liquid lustre of her eyes… a beauty neither of fine color nor long eyelash, nor penciled brow, but of meaning, of movement, of radiance. Then her soul sat on her lips, and language flowed, from what source I cannot tell; has a girl of fourteen a heart large enough, vigorous enough to hold the swelling spring of pure, full, fervid eloquence?” (74).

Helen first demonstrates the wisdom of eternal perspective when she encourages Jane to forgive in light of a heavenly reward:

“It is not violence that best overcomes hate – nor vengeance that most certainly heals injury…read the New Testament and, and observe what Christ says and how he acts; make his word your rule and his conduct your example” (57).

“Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity, or registering wrongs. We are, and must be, one and all, burdened with faults in this world: but the time will soon come when, I trust we shall put them off in putting off our corruptible bodies; when debasement and sin will fall from us with this cumbrous frame of flesh, and only the spark of the spirit will remain – the impalpable principle of life and thought, pure as when it left the Creator to inspire the creature; whence it came it will return, perhaps again to be communicated to some being higher than man – perhaps to pass through some gradiations of glory, from the pale human soul to brighten to the seraph!…Besides with this creed I can so clearly distinguish between the criminal and his crime, I can so sincerely forgive the first while I abhor the last; with this creed, revenge never worries my heart, degradation never too deeply disgusts me, injustice never crushes me too low; I live in calm, looking to the end” (58-59).

“Hush Jane! You think too much of the love of human beings; you are too impulsive, too vehement: the sovereign Hand that created your frame, and put life into it, has provided you with other resources other than your feeble self, or than creatures feeble as you. Besides this world, and besides the race of men, there is an invisible world and a kingdom of spirits: that world is round us for it is everywhere; and those spirits watch us, for they are committed to guard us; and if we are dying in pain and shame, if scorn smote us on all sides, and hatred crushes us, angels see our tortures and recognize our innocence…and God waits only a separation of spirit from the flesh to crown us with full reward. Why, then, should we ever sink overwhelmed with distress, when life is so soon over, and death is so certain an entrance to happiness – to glory?” (70-71).

The most touching moment of Helen’s character is in her final hour, on her deathbed only a few months after she and Jane meet, when she again encourages Jane to grasp her Maker with a confidence that is truly God-given:

“I am very happy, Jane; and when you hear that I am dead, you must be sure and not grieve: there is nothing to grieve about. We all must die one day, and the illness which is removing me is not painful, it is gentle and gradual…” (83).

“My maker and yours…will never destroy what he created. I rely implicitly on his power, and confide wholly in his goodness: I count the hours till that eventful one arrives which shall restore me to Him, reveal Him to me…I am sure there is a future state; I believe God is good; I can resign my immortal part to him without any misgiving. God is my father, God is my friend; I love Him; I believe He loves me” (84).

“Her graveside is at Brocklebridge Churchyard… a gray tablet marks the spot, inscribed with her name, and the word ‘Resurgam.’” (85).

Resurgam in Latin means, “I shall rise again.”

If you made it this far in the blog post, I do not need to try to extol the beauty of this novel. If you enjoyed what you read, I encourage you to check it out.